Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I AM VODKA MAN
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Randomize
