the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
