So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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