Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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