like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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