I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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