I want to stick my p in your. b.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
