Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
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