I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize