my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize