He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
