I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
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