All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
