I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
