Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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