are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
