so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
i already hear my dad disowning me
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
You can't special order awesome
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
