I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
