Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
