Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
