if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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