So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Randomize