remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
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