He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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