You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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