Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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