you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
