absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize