Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
