I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize