Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
