I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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