Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
We need to rekindle our bromance
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Randomize
