why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
