sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
