My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
