ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
