Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Randomize
