6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
