I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
