Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Randomize
