I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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