you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
