That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Randomize