We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Randomize
