Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
