have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
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