I want to walk on stilts...naked
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
