If that was your dad, he is hot
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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