yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
