I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
