Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
