U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
