Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
