new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
She's the barista slut.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I need moral support for this bender
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
