So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
