I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Randomize
