My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
