I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
you never un-have a 4some
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
