So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
