He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
