I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
