On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
