Quick, to the slutcave!
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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