Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
he laminated a picture of his dick.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
